Hilarious Texting Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor

I remember the first time I sent a texting joke to my best friend, thinking it would be the funniest thing ever. I hit send, then waited for a response. Seconds ticked by, then minutes. Was it a dud? Just when I thought the joke was lost in the digital ether, her phone lit up with a reply: ‘That was so bad, I almost dropped my phone!’
Since then, texting jokes have become a regular part of our conversations, and I have gathered some of the funniest, most ridiculous texting jokes I could find. So buckle up, because these texting jokes are about to make you laugh out loud!

Funny Texting Jokes

1. Why did the phone break up with the charger? It just needed some space!
2. I told my phone a joke, now it is cracking up.
3. My friend texted me asking for a joke. I said, ‘Sorry, I do not have one. I am still downloading my sense of humor.’
4. I tried to make a joke about texting, but it came out as a typo. Oops!
5. My texting style is like a washing machine, full of spin cycles and mixed signals.
6. If texting is so fast, why does it still take hours to read your friend’s long messages?
7. Do you know why my phone is always smiling? Because it is always on vibrate!
8. I sent a joke to my phone and now it would not stop cracking up. It must have caught the ‘cell-f’ humor.
9. Why do phones never get tired? Because they always have a charger!
10. I texted my friend that I was lost. They replied, ‘Do not worry, your GPS is just a little confused too.’
11. Why do I always text my dog? Because he is paws-itively the best at making me laugh!

April Fools Texting Jokes

1. I just won the lottery! Wait… April Fools. But seriously, I did buy a scratch-off… and lost!
2. I texted my friend, ‘I am moving to Paris next week!’ They replied, ‘No way!’ Then I texted, ‘April Fools! I’m just moving my couch.’
3. Hey, I have decided to quit my job and become a professional napper. April Fools, I just need to nap more during work hours!
4. Guess what? I bought a pet dinosaur! Oh wait… April Fools. But seriously, that would be so cool.
5. I texted my mom saying, ‘I just signed a lease on an apartment.’ She called me and said, ‘You are just getting out of the house for a while!’
6. I sent my friend a text that said, ‘I accidentally joined a cult.’ They texted back, ‘Please tell me you are joking.’
7. I told my friend that I got an autograph from Justin Bieber. They said, ‘You are lying!’ I replied, ‘April Fools! But I wish that was true.’
8. Just quit my job to become a professional cookie taster. April Fools! But that does sound like a dream job.
9. I sent my friend a picture of a pizza and said, ‘This is your lunch.’ They replied, ‘No way! I thought you were going to send me food.’
10. My text to my friend: ‘I am officially a millionaire!’ Friend: ‘No way, that is amazing!’ Me: ‘April Fools!’

Good Jokes for Texting

1. I just got a job as a human statue. Now I stand still and get paid for it. You should join me!
2. Why do not skeletons fight each other? They do not have the guts!
3. I told my friend I was on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
4. I texted my friend a joke about an elevator. It was an uplifting experience.
5. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
6. My texting energy is as low as Lucas Electric on a blackout day.
7. I asked my dog for a joke, and he said, ‘I am paws-itively terrible at them.’
8. Why do not eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
9. I told my friend, ‘If you see a crime happen at the Apple Store, does that make you an eyewitness?’
10. I told my friend, ‘I have a joke about construction, but I am still working on it.’
11. I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a construction joke. They said no. I told them it was a work in progress.

Good Knock Knock Jokes for Texting

1. Knock knock. Who is there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says moo!
2. Knock knock. Who is there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it is freezing out here!
3. Knock knock. Who is there? Tank. Tank who? You are welcome!
4. Knock knock. Who is there? Owl. Owl who? Owl be right back with more jokes!
5. Knock knock. Who is there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
6. Knock knock. Who is there? Boo. Boo who? Do not cry, it is just a joke!
7. Knock knock. Who is there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open the door, I am freezing!
8. Knock knock. Who is there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open the door!
9. Knock knock. Who is there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a good joke!
10. Knock knock. Who is there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time like the present for a good joke!

Texting and Driving Jokes

1. I just texted my GPS, ‘Are we there yet?’ It replied, ‘No, but you can keep asking.’
2. I texted my friend while driving. I told them, ‘I think I just passed a sign that said ‘Oops, do not text and drive.”
3. I texted my car, ‘I need a break.’ It replied, ‘Pull over, I am tired too.’
4. I texted my friend, ‘I am on the road again.’ They replied, ‘Are you driving or just texting?’
5. My texting app feels like DOS, all black screen and mystery.
6. Texting and driving should be illegal, but texting my car a joke? That is totally acceptable.
7. I tried texting my car for directions. It replied, ‘I am not your GPS, stop asking!’
8. I texted my car, ‘How am I doing?’ It responded, ‘You are doing great, just keep your eyes on the road!’
9. I texted my friend, ‘Stuck in traffic.’ They said, ‘Are you still texting while driving?’
10. Why did I text while driving? Because my car was telling me to ‘drive safely!’
11. I texted my car, ‘Where am I going?’ It said, ‘Somewhere, but not while texting.’

Texting Jokes for Friends

1. I texted my friend saying, ‘You are the avocado to my toast.’ They replied, ‘That is cheesy, but I will take it!’
2. I told my friend I was texting them a joke. They replied, ‘You better not leave me on read!’
3. I sent a text saying, ‘Hey, guess what?’ They replied, ‘What?’ I said, ‘You are awesome, that is what!’
4. Why did the scarecrow text? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. I texted my friend that I had a pet unicorn. They replied, ‘Does it like rainbows?’
6. I texted my friend a picture of a pizza. They said, ‘You know I love pizza!’
7. My friend said, ‘I got a new pet fish!’ I replied, ‘Does it like to text?’
8. I texted my friend, ‘I am tired.’ They replied, ‘Then take a nap, or take a joke!’
9. I texted my friend, ‘You are the jelly to my peanut butter.’ They texted back, ‘That’s sweet, thanks!’
10. I sent a text saying, ‘You are my bestie.’ They replied, ‘No, you are!’

Texting Humor for Every Mood

1. When you are feeling like a couch potato: I just texted my remote control, ‘Where have you been all my life?’
2. When you are feeling sassy: I told my phone, ‘No need to be smart, I have a good joke for you.’
3. When you are feeling creative: I texted my pencil, ‘Write me a masterpiece!’
4. When you are feeling confused: I texted my mirror, ‘Who is the fairest of them all?’ It replied, ‘You, duh.’
5. Texting with a droid feels like messaging a polite robot with no feelings.
6. When you are feeling zen: I texted my yoga mat, ‘Let’s do this!’
7. When you are feeling overworked: I texted my laptop, ‘Are you tired too?’ It replied, ‘Yes, let’s take a break!’
8. When you are feeling silly: I texted my pillow, ‘Why are you always so soft?’
9. When you are feeling happy: I texted my ice cream, ‘Thank you for making me smile.’
10. When you are feeling lonely: I texted my fridge, ‘Are you open?’ It replied, ‘Yes, I am full of good things!’
11. When you are feeling hangry: I texted my burger, ‘Can you please hurry?’

Texting Jokes for Couples

1. Why did the couple bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
2. I texted my partner, ‘You are my sunshine.’ They replied, ‘Well, then you must be the clouds.’
3. I told my partner, ‘You are the peanut butter to my jelly.’ They replied, ‘And you are the bread to my sandwich!’
4. I texted my partner saying, ‘If love is a crime, I am guilty!’ They replied, ‘Then I am your partner in crime!’
5. I told my partner, ‘I am so glad we are together.’ They said, ‘Well, you were my first choice.’
6. I sent my partner a text, ‘Do you know what would make this day amazing?’ They replied, ‘A kiss from you!’
7. I texted my partner, ‘Are we the best team?’ They replied, ‘Yes, but you are the MVP!’
8. I texted my partner, ‘I am going to be late.’ They replied, ‘I was wondering when you would send me that text.’
9. I said to my partner, ‘You make my heart skip a beat.’ They replied, ‘Well, I guess I should stop texting while driving!’
10. I told my partner, ‘I would travel the world with you.’ They replied, ‘I would travel the world with you, even if we are just texting.’

Texting Jokes for Work

1. I texted my boss, ‘I am having a really productive day!’ They replied, ‘I am glad you think so, but please get back to work.’
2. I texted my coworker, ‘Do you know what day it is?’ They replied, ‘It is the day we both pretend to work really hard!’
3. Why did the office worker bring a pencil to the meeting? Because they wanted to draw some attention!
4. A hacker once read my texts and offered grammar corrections.
5. I texted my friend, ‘Just finished a report.’ They replied, ‘Does it have any pictures? It is hard to read all that text!’
6. I said, ‘I am so busy today!’ My coworker replied, ‘Same here. My inbox has become my second job!’
7. I told my coworker, ‘I could use a vacation!’ They texted back, ‘We all could, but we are too busy pretending to work!’
8. I texted my boss, ‘I need a coffee break.’ They replied, ‘You need a life break!’
9. I texted my coworker, ‘Are you having a productive day?’ They said, ‘No, I am just here for the free coffee.’
10. I told my coworker, ‘I am on my lunch break.’ They replied, ‘Do not get caught! It is called a ‘lunch escape.’’
11. I texted my boss, ‘I think I need a nap.’ They replied, ‘You’ve been napping all day, that is your job!’

Texting Jokes for Family

1. I texted my brother, ‘I got a joke for you!’ He replied, ‘Let me guess, it is about dad’s old jokes?’
2. I texted my mom, ‘What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?’ She replied, ‘A snowman with abs!’
3. I texted my dad, ‘Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?’ He replied, ‘Because they lactose!’
4. I told my sister, ‘I am making dinner tonight!’ She replied, ‘I will be there in 10 minutes for the leftovers.’
5. I texted my uncle, ‘What did one wall say to the other?’ He replied, ‘I will meet you at the corner!’
6. I texted my cousin, ‘Why do not skeletons fight each other?’ They replied, ‘Because they do not have the guts!’
7. I texted my aunt, ‘Do you know why you should never tell secrets on a farm?’ She replied, ‘Because the potatoes have ears!’
8. I texted my family group chat, ‘Guess what? I got a pet lizard!’ My brother replied, ‘Does it like texting?’
9. I texted my dad, ‘I cannot find my keys!’ He replied, ‘Try texting your car, it might have them.’
10. I told my brother, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ He replied, ‘To text the other side!’

Well, that is it, folks! I hope these texting jokes have added a little more laughter to your day and given you some fun material to share with friends, family, and maybe even your boss (if you are feeling adventurous). Texting jokes are like the snack-sized portions of humor; you can enjoy them anytime, anywhere, and they always bring a smile.
So next time you are about to send a text, why not make it a funny one? Who knows, you might just make someone’s day a little brighter. Thanks for laughing along with me; stay funny and keep those jokes rolling!