Hilarious Lip Puns That Will Make You Smile From Ear to Lip

Last week, I accidentally dropped my favorite lipstick down a storm drain while trying to take a dramatic pout selfie. As I watched it swirl away like the final scene in a beauty themed soap opera, I realized I had two choices; cry or crack jokes.
Naturally, I chose the one that involved significantly more laughter and significantly fewer waterproof mascaras. That little moment of lip gloss led me down a very punny path so if you are into sass, smiles, and a whole lot of lip puns, you are absolutely in the right place.

Pucker Up, Buttercup

1. I told my lip balm it was essential. It kissed me in agreement.
2. My lips and I are speaking terms mostly gossip.
3. I blew a kiss and accidentally started a relationship.
4. My lips are sealed unless there is tea.
5. My soul left my body when I saw her lip gloss shade.
6. I tried to pout, but my lip gloss said, “Not today, sparkle queen.”
7. I told my crush I liked them with my eyes. My lips did a TED Talk.
8. My lips are like WiFi always searching for a strong connection.
9. I did not mean to flirt. My lips acted independently.
10. My lips write checks my heart cannot cash.
11. I lip sync in the mirror like I am headlining Coachella.

Gloss Boss

1. My lip gloss has more confidence than I do.
2. I put on gloss and instantly got promoted to emotionally unavailable.
3. My lip gloss walks faster than I do. That is leadership.
4. Lipstick fades, but sass is permanent.
5. My gloss said, “We are not talking to clowns today.”
6. I put on cherry gloss. Now everyone thinks I have opinions.
7. Lip gloss is therapy in a tube with bonus sparkle.
8. I kissed a mirror to test my gloss. It ghosted me.
9. My gloss budget could fund a small village or my self esteem.
10. If my lips are glossy, my mood is shiny chaos.

Lip Service

1. I offer premium lip service that comes with sarcasm.
2. My lips are fluent in compliments and mild insults.
3. I talk big because my lip liner is on point.
4. I give a great lip just ask my last three exes.
5. My lips have a PhD in drama and snack commentary.
6. I told my lips to keep quiet. They signed up for karaoke.
7. Our lips are matching better than our outfits.
8. My lip ring is not a phase. It is punctuation.
9. I whispered sweet nothings and got sued for false advertising.
10. My lips were made for talking and mild chaos.
11. I do not speak nonsense. I just let my lips freestyle.

Kiss toric Moments

1. My first kiss was so awkward, even my lips filed a complaint.
2. I kissed someone during a sneeze. It was emotional.
3. My lipstick survived tacos and heartbreak. Iconic.
4. I kissed a frog. He asked for skincare tips.
5. My kiss is like a limited edition flavor, intense and confusing.
6. I kissed someone on New Year’s. They said, “Was that citrus?”
7. My kisses come with terms and conditions.
8. I blew a kiss. It was intercepted by a mosquito. We are now married.
9. I kissed my cat. Now we are emotionally codependent.
10. I kissed the air dramatically. The air filed a restraining order.

Puns About Lips

1. My lips have more drama than a reality TV finale.
2. I am all lips and opinions.
3. These lips do not lie unless it is about snacks.
4. I let my lips do the talking. My brain is still buffering.
5. Lips so loud, they should come with a volume warning.
6. I pouted once and caused a traffic jam.
7. My lips walked into the room before I did.
8. That cello solo hit harder than a cold sore.
9. Lip service? More like lip sass.
10. I wear my lip color like it is a mood ring.
11. My lips signed a deal before I read the fine print.

Big Lip Puns

1. My lips enter a room five minutes before the rest of me.
2. I did not overline. I was born with billboard confidence.
3. My pout has its own gravitational field.
4. My lips need a carry on bag.
5. I talk big because my lips give speeches.
6. These lips are not bold, they are in bold font.
7. I kissed someone and left a full monogram.
8. My lip prints are considered real estate.
9. When I smile, it is a widescreen experience.
10. My big lips come with big feelings.

Lip Balm Puns

1. My lip balm has saved more breakdowns than therapy.
2. I apply balm like it is holy water.
3. If I lose my lip balm, I lose my will to socialize.
4. Lip balm: my emotional support stick.
5. I kissed someone with no balm. It was a crime scene.
6. I own more lip balm than emotional boundaries.
7. My balm melted, and so did my dignity.
8. His facial was relaxing until the lip wax screamed.
9. I balm to stay calm.
10. My lip balm expired and so did my mood.
11. Sharing lip balm? That is relationship level trust.

Lip Filler Puns

1. My lip filler speaks louder than my words.
2. I got lip filler and a new personality both plump.
3. My lips are not fake, they are upgraded.
4. I filled my lips and emptied my bank account.
5. I told my injector I wanted “natural.” I now speak fluent pout.
6. My lip filler entered the chat before I did.
7. I smile in slow motion now pure luxury.
8. My lips have GPS and they lead all conversations.
9. I went in for a touch up and kissed first.
10. I got lip filler. Now my selfies have fan clubs.

Lip Gloss Puns

1. My lip gloss is the only thing holding me together.
2. Gloss so bright, I need a shade warning.
3. I could solve world peace if I reapplied gloss first.
4. My lip gloss just got offered its own reality show.
5. Gloss and go, that is my lifestyle.
6. My lip gloss doubles as a weapon in the wind.
7. My fingernail broke trying to open a stubborn lip balm.
8. I cannot hear you over the sound of my gloss sparkle.
9. I use lip gloss to deflect drama.
10. My gloss has GPS and it finds attention.
11. I brought backup gloss. I am not taking risks today.

Dua Lipa Puns

1. I wanted a bold lip, and ended up channeling Dua Lipa’s entire discography.
2. My pout just dropped a single stream like Dua Lipa.
3. I dance like Dua Lipa, but only from the lips up.
4. My lips are serving Dua Lipa in high resolution.
5. I told my lip color to go “full Dua.” It said, “Say no more.”
6. This gloss? Approved by Dua and the dance floor.
7. I walked in lip first Dua Lipa would be proud.
8. I cannot do a split, but my lips hit high notes like Dua.
9. My gloss is pop star level. Even Dua is nervous.
10. One kiss is all it took for my lip liner to leave forever.

Thanks for sticking around till the last kiss I mean pun. Writing this collection left me with sore cheeks (from laughing, obviously) and a sudden urge to buy every shade of gloss I have ever ignored.
If these lip puns made you chuckle, snort, or text your friend a kiss emoji, then my work here is done. Until next time, keep your lips bold, your jokes bolder, and never trust a matte finish without a backup balm!