Gru Jokes That Are So Funny They Could Actually Steal The Moon

Last week, I was trying to impress my nephew by doing my best Gru impression. Unfortunately, I sounded less like a supervillain and more like a tired potato. He laughed so hard that he fell off the couch, and I realized maybe Gru jokes are funnier when you fail at them.
So I decided to make a list that would make even Minions giggle uncontrollably. If you ever wanted to sound like Gru without terrifying children, this is for you.

Gru’s Villainous Humor

1. Why did Gru quit playing hide and seek? Because every time he hid, the Minions made a documentary about it.
2. Gru tried to make a salad once. It turned into a plot for world domination.
3. Gru’s favorite exercise is plotting; because it has evil intent.
4. Gru told his mirror he was the best villain. The mirror called the police.
5. Gru bought a GPS but it keeps saying, ‘Turn evil in 300 feet.’
6. Gru applied for a job at the zoo. They said he was overqualified for handling monkeys.
7. Gru tried playing Jenga, but even he could not stop the tower from falling over like a villain’s plan.
8. Gru’s cooking show got canceled because every episode ended with him stealing the moon.
9. Gru went to therapy, but the therapist quit after three sessions of evil laughter.
10. Gru’s favorite dance move is ‘The Villain Shuffle.’ No one knows what it is, and that is the point.
11. Gru once tried meditation. He ended up recruiting the monk as his assistant.

Gru Jokes And The Minions Mayhem

1. Gru told the Minions to clean the lab. They started a foam party instead.
2. Gru tried to train the Minions for battle. They formed a conga line.
3. Gru asked the Minions for serious ideas. They gave him a banana.
4. Gru once said, ‘No nonsense.’ The Minions took it as a suggestion.
5. Gru tried to fire a Minion. The Minion brought marshmallows.
6. Gru’s office motto is ‘Efficiency.’ The Minions thought it meant ‘Confetti.’
7. Gru once grounded a Minion. The Minion dug a tunnel to freedom.
8. Gru’s favorite word is ‘Order.’ The Minions think it means lunch time.
9. Gru built a robot to manage Minions. It quit within an hour.
10. Gru’s Minions once threw him a surprise party. He was surprised the lab was still standing.

Gru’s Family Funnies

1. Gru’s kids asked for bedtime stories. He told them about tax evasion.
2. Gru’s family photo looks like an FBI most wanted list.
3. Gru’s parenting style is strict but includes banana pudding.
4. Gru once tried to teach kindness. The lesson ended in laser beams.
5. Gru’s daughters say his cooking is like science experiments gone wrong.
6. Gru’s idea of bonding time is building a freeze ray together.
7. Gru took his kids to Disneyland. He tried to steal the castle.
8. Gru’s idea of family game night involves actual traps.
9. Gru’s family reunion theme was ‘Evil But Cute.’
10. When Gru met a group of 13 year olds, he realized their pranks were even more evil than his!
11. Gru’s wife said she wanted a vacation. He built her a moon base.

Gru’s Everyday Struggles

1. Gru went grocery shopping and left with a shrink ray instead of milk.
2. Gru’s alarm clock is just his own evil laugh.
3. Gru once joined a gym. He left after the first villain laugh got him banned.
4. Gru tried yoga, but the mat caught fire.
5. Gru’s Wi-Fi password is classified by the CIA.
6. Gru ordered a smart fridge. It started plotting against him.
7. Gru’s car runs on pure evil and occasional coffee.
8. Gru tried online dating but kept matching with supervillains.
9. Gru’s idea of relaxing is polishing his rocket.
10. Gru cannot go to IKEA without making blueprints for world domination.

Gru And Technology

1. Gru’s computer once said, ‘Are you sure you want to destroy the world?’ He clicked yes twice.
2. Gru’s phone autocorrects ‘evil’ to ‘email.’
3. Gru tried to make an app. It caused a global panic alert.
4. Gru’s drone keeps following him home with pizza deliveries.
5. Gru’s AI assistant is now running for mayor.
6. Gru told the 8 and 9 year olds his secret plan, but they just asked if he could teach them how to make Play Doh animals.
7. Gru cannot use TikTok without accidentally summoning a Minion army.
8. Gru’s smartwatch keeps asking if he wants to take over the world again.
9. Gru’s favorite browser is ‘Incognito mode for villains.’
10. Gru’s antivirus called him the virus.
11. Gru’s smart home once locked him out for excessive evil laughter.

Gru And Other Villains

1. Gru joined a villain support group. He became the leader in ten minutes.
2. Gru tried to prank another villain but ended up adopting his sidekick.
3. Gru’s favorite insult is ‘You plot like an amateur.’
4. Gru’s rival said, ‘You will never succeed.’ Gru replied, ‘Already did, twice.’
5. Gru once competed in an evil contest and got disqualified for being too stylish.
6. Gru’s evil mentor retired after Gru blew up the moon accidentally.
7. Gru was invited to a villain gala but refused because of bad lighting.
8. Gru’s arch nemesis is the concept of patience.
9. Gru once joined forces with another villain. The partnership ended in a banana war.
10. Gru’s enemies call him ‘extra.’ He calls it ‘well-prepared.’

Gru And Science Experiments

1. Gru tried to invent a shrink ray. It shrunk his lunch instead.
2. Gru’s experiment to create a new life form ended with more Minions.
3. Gru mixed two potions and made disco lights instead of destruction.
4. Gru’s lab smells like burnt success.
5. The Gru Rhyme Challenge was tough, especially when the only words the kids could rhyme were “minions” and “play-doh”!
6. Gru told the Minions to handle chemicals. The walls are still glowing.
7. Gru’s invention called ‘The Calm Ray’ exploded twice.
8. Gru once made a potion for invisibility. He lost it immediately.
9. Gru’s experiments usually end in laughter or explosions.
10. Gru accidentally turned his coffee into rocket fuel.
11. Gru’s lab motto: ‘If it is not dangerous, it is not fun.’

Gru’s Love Life

1. Gru’s romantic dinner included candlelight and a suspicious laser beam.
2. Gru’s idea of flirting is explaining blueprints for world domination.
3. Gru once wrote a love letter that self-destructed.
4. Gru’s wedding vows were classified documents.
5. Gru gave his wife flowers that screamed when touched.
6. Gru’s version of a date night involves mission briefings.
7. Gru’s love poems rhyme with words like ‘freeze ray.’
8. Gru’s first kiss came with a dramatic lightning strike.
9. Gru’s idea of ‘heartfelt’ includes fingerprint scanners.
10. Gru’s anniversary gift was a rocket engraved with ‘I love you dangerously.’

Gru And His Minion Crew

1. Gru’s Minions once replaced his shampoo with banana puree.
2. Gru tried to give a motivational speech. The Minions started a chant in gibberish.
3. Gru’s Minions once built a statue of him out of jelly.
4. Gru told the Minions to be quiet. They started an orchestra.
5. Gru once grounded all the Minions. They made a short film about it.
6. Gru’s Minions cannot be serious even at laser drills.
7. Gru said ‘focus.’ The Minions heard ‘snack.’
8. Gru’s lab safety protocol is one word: run.
9. Gru tried to mold Play-Doh into a villain, but it kept turning into cute animals instead.
10. Gru tried to teach Minions discipline. They turned it into a TikTok trend.
11. Gru’s Minions once threw a parade for a missing sock.

Gru’s Philosophical Thoughts

1. Gru says, ‘Evil is just misunderstood creativity.’
2. Gru believes villains are just unappreciated planners.
3. Gru once said, ‘Why take over the world when you can own good coffee?’
4. Gru thinks laughter is the best weapon, unless you have a laser.
5. Gru once pondered, ‘If no one sees your evil plan, is it still evil?’
6. Gru believes revenge should always come with dessert.
7. Gru thinks villains should get paid vacation.
8. Gru said, ‘True power is convincing others you already have it.’
9. Gru’s philosophy: world domination, but make it stylish.
10. Gru once wrote a book titled ‘How To Be Evil Without Breaking A Sweat.’

As I finished writing these Gru jokes, my cat stared at me like I had finally lost it. Maybe she was just jealous of Gru’s gadgets, or maybe I laughed too loudly at my own jokes. Either way, if you made it this far, we probably share the same goofy sense of humor.
Now go ahead and try one of these jokes on a friend; just do not use a freeze ray. Until next time, keep your laughter as mischievous as Gru himself.