The Most Outrageously Best Dark Humor Dad Jokes To Crack You Up

I remember the first time I heard dark humor dad jokes at a family barbecue. My uncle was flipping burgers like he was conducting a serious scientific experiment. He paused, sighed and said a joke so absurd that I almost dropped my soda.

Ever since that moment, dark humor dad jokes became my guilty pleasure. I have been collecting them like odd souvenirs from a bizarre comedy museum. This article is my treasure box and I am letting you open it.

Best Dark Humor Dad Jokes One Liners

1. My dad always said he wanted to go out with a bang. He became a firework consultant.
2. My dad told me he loved surprises. That is why he left without saying goodbye.
3. My dad said I should chase my dreams. He also chased his and I still have no idea where he went.
4. Parenting tip from my dad. Hide and seek is easier when you do not come back.
5. My dad told me money does not grow on trees. Which explains why he was always shaking the family tree.
6. Dark humor dad tried to make a Buzzfeed Dad quiz, but all the answers were just dad jokes about life insurance.
7. My dad tried to make a comeback. Turns out he never came back in the first place.
8. Dad logic is powerful. He said everything is temporary and proved it by disappearing.
9. My dad said life is short. I guess that is why his parenting was shorter.
10. My dad wanted to teach me responsibility. So he left me with the bill.
11. When my dad said he was getting a new job he forgot to mention it included leaving the country.

Best Dark Humor Dad Jokes

1. My dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said present.
2. My dad always told us to follow our heart. He followed his right out the front door.
3. My dad tried to give me a life lesson. Unfortunately the only lesson was how to vanish.
4. My dad said he believed in second chances. I guess that is why he never took the first.
5. My dad said he wanted peace and quiet. He got it by relocating permanently.
6. My dad always said family is everything. Which is why he left us with nothing.
7. My dad said if you love something you set it free. He must have really loved himself.
8. My dad taught me patience. Not on purpose. More like accidental ghosting.
9. My dad said time heals. He is still taking his time.
10. My dad said he wanted a better life. He probably found one because he never returned.

Dark Humor Dad Leaving Jokes

1. My dad was like a magician. He disappeared and no one knows the trick.
2. My dad said he would grab milk. That was twenty years ago. Cows retire faster.
3. I won Father of the Year. The bar was low. My dad set it underground.
4. My dad said he needed space. I just did not expect him to start a new galaxy.
5. My dad told us to be independent. Lesson received. We had no choice.
6. My dad joined a gym. He wanted stronger abs. Mainly from laughing as he left.
7. Dad said leaving was difficult. He made it look so easy.
8. My dark humor dad calls himself the Ultimate Dad, mainly because he can make any situation awkward with one sarcastic comment.
9. My dad said he would check on us later. Later still has not started.
10. Dad said we should value family. So he left to increase the value.
11. My dad said he was going to take a break. He broke the entire family record.

Dark Humor Jokes About Dads

1. My dad was really good at multitasking. He could disappear and disappoint at the same time.
2. My dad called himself a free spirit. Free from chores. Free from responsibility. Free from us.
3. My dad said he wanted a better life. I guess we were the trial version.
4. Dad tried to be supportive. Mostly of furniture because he never held us.
5. My dad loved surprises. Especially the ones where he never returned.
6. My dad told me I could become anything. Except someone with a dad.
7. Dad said he wanted more time alone. Mission accomplished forever.
8. Dad said family bonds are strong. Ours were apparently optional.
9. My dad would be proud of me. If he remembered I existed.
10. My dad said we should laugh through the pain. He sure did.

Best Dad Jokes Flirty

1. You remind me of my dad. Always leaving me speechless but in a good way.
2. My heart reacts to you the same way my dad reacts to responsibility. It runs.
3. If my feelings were my dad they would leave without explanation.
4. You are like my ideal dad joke. Unexpected. Slightly wrong. Impossible to forget.
5. You have the smile of someone who causes chaos and I am interested.
6. You are like a dad joke. I groan first then fall in love with it.
7. Dark humor dad went to a Jonas Brothers concert and kept yelling, “I thought you were all supposed to be in therapy!”
8. If my heart was a dad joke you would be the punchline.
9. Are you a dad joke. Because I keep thinking about you more than I should.
10. You are the reason my heart stays up late. Just like bad dad decisions.
11. If we were a dad joke we would be the inappropriate kind that people repeat anyway.

I always think about how these dark humor dad jokes​ came to life. Maybe it is because my family loves comedy more than reality. We once laughed for twenty minutes over a spilled drink and a dropped burger. Life has always been easier when I treat it like a giant nonstop joke. So thank you for reading and sharing this silly moment with me.

I hope these dark humor dad jokes​ made you laugh and maybe even think a little. Now go enjoy the rest of your day and keep the humor alive because that is what keeps the world interesting.